Living with loneliness – Part 2  – Portugal Resident

The following five alternative practices are inspired by Buddhist teachings, but you do not need to be a Buddhist to benefit from them. They are simple exercises that encourage compassion, presence and connection. Be gentle and patient with yourself as you conduct them. More important here is that you begin to treat yourself and others with a little more kindness.

1. Loving-kindness exercise

Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Spend a few moments simply noticing your breath. There is no need to force anything; just allow yourself to settle into the present moment.

Yoga breathing is ideal for this practice as it calms and slows down the breath, i.e. as you take an in-breath, imagine that your belly is expanding like a balloon, and as you take the out-breath, allow your belly to contract. 

Begin by silently repeating these phrases, slowly and sincerely:

May I be happy.
May I be peaceful.
May I be healthy.
May I live with ease.

Repeat these affirmations even though you may feel the complete opposite to peace and happiness. It is important to note that loneliness is eased when we begin by becoming our own friend.

Next, think of a neighbour you occasionally wave to, the elderly lady next door, or the young family across the street. Imagine them living a life with its problems, emotions, challenges etc. Repeat:

May you be happy.
May you be peaceful.
May you be healthy.
May you live with ease.

Now widen your circle. Think of someone you do not know personally: the street cleaner who works early each morning, the taxi driver, the supermarket cashier, or the bus driver. Although they are strangers, they too experience the same emotions as you and I. Offer them the same wishes.

Finally, extend these words to everyone in your community, your town or city. Imagine thousands of people, each carrying their own unseen struggles.

May you all be happy.
May you all be peaceful.
May you all be healthy.
May you all live with ease.

The purpose of this practice is to generate love rather than wait for it to arrive from somewhere else. Loneliness is often the feeling of being disconnected. By deliberately cultivating goodwill towards others, we begin to experience ourselves as part of something much larger.

2. Mindfulness of breathing

Our minds naturally drift towards memories of the past or worries about the future. Loneliness often feeds on these thoughts, convincing us that yesterday was better or tomorrow will be empty.

Instead, return to the one place where life is actually happening, i.e. in this very moment.

Slowly breathe in (see point 1, yoga breathing) and silently say:

“I’m breathing in” and slowly count to five.

As you breathe out, repeat:

“I’m breathing out” and slowly count to five.

Continue for 10 breaths.

If your mind wanders, simply notice where it has gone and gently return to your breathing without criticising yourself. Each return to the current moment is an act of kindness.

Conscious breathing interrupts the endless stories that fuel loneliness and reminds us that, in this moment, we are safe, alive and capable of beginning again.

3. Practising sympathetic joy

When we feel lonely, it is easy to compare our lives with those of others. Social media, family gatherings and even seeing happy couples walking together can trigger thoughts such as, “Why them and not me?”

This comparison rarely brings comfort.

Instead, practise what Buddhists call sympathetic joy, i.e.finding happiness in another person’s happiness.

Picture someone whose ‘happy existence’ stirs feelings of envy. Then quietly say:

May your happiness continue.
May your happiness continue to grow.

At first, these words may feel unnatural. That is perfectly normal. The practice is not about pretending you never feel jealous; it is about refusing to let envy harden your heart.

As you celebrate another person’s joy, you loosen the grip of comparison and make more room for your own future happiness.

4. Be mindful of this present moment

Mindfulness is simply paying complete attention to what you are doing.

Choose an everyday task, e.g. making a cup of coffee, washing the dishes, watering plants or folding laundry, and perform it as though it truly matters.

Engage all of your senses, i.e. notice the warmth of the mug in your hands, the aroma of the coffee, the sound of water running, the softness of freshly washed clothes or the colours of the plants outside your window. 

If feelings of loneliness arise, do not stop what you are doing. Acknowledge the feeling and continue.

The same applies if you are sitting on a park bench. Listen to birdsong, watch leaves moving in the breeze or observe people passing by. These small moments remind us that life is constantly unfolding around us, inviting us to participate rather than simply observe from the sidelines.

5. Cultivate generosity

One of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness is giving.

Generosity shifts our attention away from what we feel is missing and towards what we have to offer.

This doesn’t even have to involve money. Scatter bird seed and watch the local birds gather. Volunteer at a charity shop or soup kitchen. Teach someone to sew or use a computer. Bake a loaf of bread for a neighbour. Instead of waiting for someone to telephone you, make the first call.

Every generous act creates a loving connection. Loneliness communicates that we are alone. Generosity quietly proves otherwise.

These five practices will not make loneliness disappear overnight. However, practised regularly, they can gently change the way we relate to ourselves, to others and to the world around us. Connection does not always begin with someone else reaching out to us, it can begin with us opening our own hearts.

This is the second and final part of a two-part series. Part 1 was published in the July 9, 2026 edition.

Also read Paul Jokinen-Carter‘s article: Living with loneliness – Part 1