The Portuguese art of saying ‘não sei’ – Portugal Resident

And after encountering innumerable instances of it on a daily basis, I have come to the happy conclusion that this is one nation that is blissfully unburdened by the tyranny of having answers.

I say this as someone qualified to judge, because I have lived, with varying degrees of success, in Dubai, Johannesburg, Dar es Salaam, Bahrain, Amman, and several other cities, that between them have taught me one consistent truth: everyone, everywhere, knows a whole lot of things. Or claims to, with great conviction but absolutely no evidence.

I first stumbled upon the expression five years ago when I landed at Lisbon airport with suitcases battered from decades of international moves, and brain saturated with a lifetime of cultural exposure.

I asked a gentleman in a fluorescent vest where the taxi queue was. He looked at me with the warm, soulful eyes of a man who had made peace with not knowing, lifted both shoulders and said “Não sei”. Then he went back to leaning against the wall.

I had never heard something like this before and instantly got jolted out of my tranquil stoicism. In the 10 countries across three continents I had inhabited earlier, nobody had ever said they did not know. Not once!

In Dubai, not knowing something was practically considered a visa violation because everyone was supposed to have a contact (vasta), or a cousin in the right ministry who solved it all.

In Johannesburg, opinions arrived before one even finished asking anything, and in Amman, people did not merely reply to your question, they answered three more, just to be thorough.

In Dar es Salaam, nobody didn’t know anything. And if at all that happened, they sent you to someone, and that person would send you to somebody else, and eventually one ended up having tea with a very wise stranger who knew everything.

However, in India, aha, in India if you asked someone for directions they did not know, they invented an entire geography. Mountains were created, roundabouts manufactured and one was sent confidently in four wrong directions before reaching the correct one, entirely by chance.

But here, many of us don’t know a lot of things and are not embarrassed about admitting it. Still, ‘não sei’ is not ignorance, let’s be clear about that. It is, in fact, a philosophy, and the most honest thing a human being can ever say. It means I am not going to stress about what I do not know, and your question does not deserve to ruin my afternoon.

It took me eight months to stop flinching when someone said it, and another four to start saying it myself. Now I deploy it with the fluid elegance of a native and it is the only answer that has never once let me down.

“The best pastel de nata is in Porto?” my visiting Aunt asked recently.

“Não sei,” I said.

“It means…” I tried to explain.

“Don’t know, I know,” my Aunt interrupted.

“Are the property prices in Europe going up?” her husband questioned.

“Não sei,” I replied.

I was met with a stunned silence.

“So, what do you know?” they chorused.

I lifted my shoulders in a Portuguese shrug. “Não sei,” I exhaled.